10 10 / 2012
I need you guys today, normally I just work through my stuff with my friends and through whatever but I’m really having a bad time.. I’m off of my healthy lifestyle and I’m binging like I’ve never binged before, I’m anxious and tired, school and work are killing my motivation to live, I miss my son whom I barley see, I’m tired of owing people for helping me, I just need a solid day of quiet. All day just silence…. I need something, what can pull me out… I’m just.. Sad.
Oh and not to mention prince charming turned out to be an evil little jerk turd. One of my harshest experiences to date…
Any words of advice ?
02 10 / 2012
20 9 / 2012
Today has been pure. Chaos.
I was 6 minutes late for work because I fell asleep in my car parked in the parking lott and of course, like always, STILL got in trouble thanks to my favorite peice O shit shift.
ANYWHO… I managed to stay under my calories for today even though this bus ride I’m on to knoxville for child support court is killing my snack craving. Which means I’ll have to keep it light tonight… But this time I’m in it for the long haul!
NO BINGING :0)
27 8 / 2012
I have two more hours until I’m away from temptation and able to be binge free.. Help?
30 7 / 2012
Thinking back to how I’ve come this far. Why do I have such a problem with weight and criticism and self hatred. It’s amazing how someone can feed you an idea and it can progress into a disease… Some of my past weight related memories..
1. Hollister with my mom and siblings for school shopping. Mom: “you just need to tone up, you need to get rid of your cellulite”.. I was a size 4. A size 4 with the least noticeable amount of cellulite… It was just the damn dressing room lighting.
2. Went to hawaii to live with my dad and when I was flying back to tennessee my dads friend picked me up from the airport… “wow, you’ve put on weight, I didn’t even recognize you”….. I was like a size bigger and it was from bulking up with soccer.. I got really involved in sports that year.
3. Little sister : “when you first came home and I saw you I thought you were disgusting. I would look at you and say to myself “stop eating, just stop.” (she tol me this after ten days of starvation) get and my mother were proud of me..
The list goes on…
I hate it all.
30 7 / 2012
30 7 / 2012
I can get through this.. This addiction won’t beat me… Right?